changing careers ain't all smiles...---
"It's not that I don't love you, you know how much I do.
And it's not that I've found someone to take the place of you.
It's just a fear that builds within me everytime you touch my hand.
And a dread that shakes my body, that even I don't understand.
So I'm leaving… This time I'm playing it smart.
I'm gonna walk away from love, before love breaks my heart."
Recognize the lyrics?
It’s from a song called Walk Away From Love by David Ruffin.
And every single day throughout my last week on the job I played this song non-stop…
Crying when I could, and holding back the tears when I couldn’t.
I’d literally be sitting at my desk with my earphones in listening to the song…
And If I’m being real, I’ll admit the melody still does something to me… instantly takes me back to those moments.
See, my career switch back in 2014 was by all means a monumental momentous joyous triumphant occasion...
But there was also a window during those final days where I honestly felt heartbroken.
I was walking away from a part of my life… a part of me... that existed as steady as the sun for damn near 9 years straight.
And I was never the type to separate my “work self” from my “non-work self…”
I was, who I was, wherever I was.
Leading the freestyle sessions after work at the bar, “arguing” with anyone who dared, mentoring anyone who'd listen…
I also left on a good note because I was able to heal during that last year from all the painful experiences the piled up…
The setbacks, missed opportunities, damaged relationships, etc...
Me and the job were good!
But, I still knew my time had come.
I had to "walk away from love” and leave that piece of me behind… some of it.
I took a deep breath after typing that last sentence… so I think I’ll stop here.
If you zoom out, the decision to leave is one that I’ll celebrate for a very very long time.
And if you zoom in, it was a very hard one to make on many levels… especially emotionally.
That’s it… no special insight, no magic hidden lesson, at least not intentionally…
I just wanted to share a side of this journey that I don’t talk about often.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. - No post script today...